


Idiot CSIs and the people they fall for

by AngelCuttingOnions



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bar fights, Implied/Referenced Abuse, I’m a slut for Barry having shitty exes shut up, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Protective Leonard Snart, Protective Mick Rory, because the first two tags, give him love now please, honestly fuck the omc he’s a little bitch, im gonna stop adding tags now, sorry i’m tired it’s been a stressful day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22809799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: When you run into your shit ex at a bar, the natural response is to hide by the most intimidating people there. If those people happen to be your villains? Worry about that later.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Barry Allen/Original Male Character(s), Mick Rory/Leonard Snart
Comments: 17
Kudos: 596





	Idiot CSIs and the people they fall for

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I got my license finally and I legit almost cried at the DMV out of anxiety but anyway
> 
> TW FOR IMPLIED PAST ABUSE. 
> 
> literally every sentence Leonard Fucking Snart speaks has italics dear g o d. this man speaks in italics.

“Don’t mind me I’m just going to stand around for a minute because you two look extremely intimidating and I’m avoiding someone.” Barry Allen planted himself at the sides of Mick Rory and Leonard Snart who were standing and talking close to the entrance of the bar they were in. It wasn’t the shadiest place, but Barry had specifically chosen one he wouldn’t see any of his friends at if they decided to go out that night. What he hadn’t counted on were the multiple familiar faces he’d see there. 

Snart raised his eyebrow at the CSI. “Hello to you too Barry.”

“Hi! Pretend like you don’t hate me please.” Barry grinned sheepishly. “Hi Mick.”

“Who the hell‘s the kid?” Mick asked his partner in a quiet tone. 

“Not important right now. What I’d like to know is what scares you so much you’re hiding by little old me.” Snart drawled in his usual Cold voice. 

Barry shifts from foot to foot as Snart and Rory stare him down. “It’s a very long story?” Both of Snart’s eyebrows were now raised. “Which I can tell you now, now is good. Short version, the guy over there is my ex.” Barry vaguely gestured to his left. 

“Was that s’posed to show us which guy it was?” Rory glanced over to the general area where Barry had pointed. “If this dickbag is bothering you we can take care of him for ya.” 

“Hey, I just need to look like I’m busy. I can keep an eye out for myself.” Barry insisted. “No murdering anyone.” 

“Mick never said anything about murder,” Snart put his arm over Barry’s shoulders and spoke quietly into his ear. “But since you _mentioned_ it-“

“Absolutely not.” The speedster looked more annoyed than concerned.

Snart laughed at Barry’s expression. “Fine, fine. Stick around as long as you need to.” He nodded his head towards the bar. “Care for a drink, Scarlet?” 

The second he let the nickname slip Mick had put the pieces together. “Scarlet? You mean-“

“Breathe a word of it to anyone _Mick_ , and it will be your last.” Snart threatened, already knowing his partner wouldn’t say anything. Barry didn’t look as worried as he probably should about the other villain learning his identity, he noted. 

Once the three men had situated themselves at the bar, they talked among themselves. Snart couldn’t get much information out of Barry besides that it wasn’t a good relationship, but the way the speedster was checking over his shoulder and tensing whenever anyone walked by spoke volumes. At some point during their conversations Len told Barry to stop calling them by their last names for the rest of the night, especially if they were faking friendship. After an hour had passed, Barry finally got up. 

“Where you runnin’ off to?” 

“Bathroom.” When Mick stood to follow, Barry quickly protested. “I don’t see him anywhere, and I’ll be back in like two minutes.” Mick shrugged and sat back down, so Barry made his way to the restroom.

**~Time skip brought to you by Barry is peeing~**

When Barry exited the bathroom, he only made it four steps before a hand landed on his shoulder. He tensed as it squeezed. “Barr! This is the first time I’ve caught you alone all evening!” He jumped when the familiar voice spoke directly in his ear. All of his training as the Flash, all knowledge of how to fight left him as he froze up. 

“You’re looking beautiful, as always. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” When Barry looked down at the floor, the hand that wasn’t on his shoulder came up to his chin to tilt his head back. “Don’t be shy Barr, it’s just me.” 

Barry shuddered. “T- take your hand off my shoulder.” 

“Don’t be like that sweetheart.” The grip on his shoulder tightened. The man finally moved into view. “How about I take you out of here and we can catch up? For old times sake.” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Michael.” Barry sounded more confident than he felt. He was pretty sure his legs were about to give out. 

“I think I like the new you. Playing hard to get? It’s cute.” Michael grinned at him and Barry felt his stomach churn at the memories that came with that smile. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He started to push Barry towards the back exit when heavy footsteps sounded behind them. 

“The man said to take your hands off him. I heard that pretty clearly. Didn’t you, Mick?”

“Loud and clear boss.” 

Barry nearly started crying at the sound of the familiar voices, mostly because his legs were definitely about to give out. 

“I _think_ it would be best to _remove your hand_ before someone else does it for you.” Len drawled. He didn’t have his Cold Gun, but clearly didn’t care. 

Michael stood a bit straighter and didn’t let go of Barry’s shoulder. “I think it would be best if you mind your damn business.” He looked Mick and Len up and down and shook his head. “I thought I told you to watch who you spend your time with, sweetheart?“ 

“That wasn’t a suggestion dickbag.” As Mick spoke, Len moved. If Barry was anyone else he wouldn’t have seen the blow coming.

Michael let go of Barry’s shoulder as he brought his hand to cover his nose. Barry flinched when he saw the man’s expression. That face had never led to good things. Michael tried to get a blow in but Len easily dodged, angering him even more. 

“Mick, check on the kid.” Len grinned at Michael. “I’ll take out the trash.”

Barry was gently pulled back from what was about to be a nasty fight. His knees felt wobbly as he walked. “You alright Doll? Did he hurt ya?”

“I’m fine, just shaken up.” 

Mick looked skeptical, but didn’t push. He purposely stood in between Barry and Michael, who was in the process of cursing the three men out. When Michael made like he was about to try and grab Barry again, Len shoved him back. That clearly pissed the man off, and he threw himself at Len, tackling him to the ground. He only had the upper hand for a few moments, then Len brought his knee up sharply and went straight for the dick. 

When Barry heard a bartender yell something about calling the cops, he quickly checked around for cameras. Not seeing any facing them, and him and Mick being just out of site, he sped Mick a few blocks away. He let the man gain his balance before he started speaking. 

“You still have warrants out for your arrest, if you’re seen there by cops there’s a chance someone will recognize you. I’m going back to help Snart- Len.”

“The boss can handle himself.” Mick crossed his arms, annoyed at the lack of warning about their trip. 

“They’re more likely to believe me about what happened, I work for the CCPD. He doesn’t technically have a record, but they’ll try to arrest him with any excuse.” 

“Of course the idiot’s got eyes for a pig.” Mick laughed gruffly. 

“I’m a CSI! I have to get back. Hey... thank you Mick.”

“Mmhm.” 

**~Time skip brought to you by Barry is zooming~**

Barry arrived right before the police. When he entered the building, two of the bartenders were holding Len and Michael apart. Well, one was holding Michael back from trying to attack Len, the other was glaring at Len who seemed more than happy with himself. 

The cops showed up and put both men in cuffs, then asked Barry to come to the station to give his statement as he was the only witness to what started the fight, and Michael was insisting on pressing charges. He was thankful he ended up in the front seat of the car Len was shoved in the back of, not the one with his ex. 

The car ride seemed to last forever, mostly because the cop, Officer Jason Thallway, was someone Barry knew from work and kept trying to make small talk while ignoring the situation they were in. When they finally arrived at the station, Barry followed closely behind Officer Thallway and Snart. He sighed as he heard a familiar voice. “What the hell did you get yourself into this time Allen?” Captain Singh looked expectantly at him. 

“I’m here giving my statement, sir.” Barry rubbed the back of his neck. “There was a fight.”

“Fight? That psycho attacked me! Barr saw everything, tell them sweetheart.” Michael was trying to shrug off the officer leading him into the room, and looking at Barry, expecting the man to side with him. 

Barry froze for a moment at the nickname, then pointedly turned away from his ex. Len however chose to speak up. “You even _think_ about looking at him again and I’ll make good on what I said earlier.” Barry was pretty sure he was referencing the earlier threat of hand removal. 

“Len you are in a _police station_ , if you actually want to leave said police station, shut up.” Everyone looked surprised at Barry’s words, and even more surprised at the grin thrown towards him by the alleged criminal. 

“I’m a law abiding citizen _Bartholomew_ , I have no reason I _won’t_ walk out of here.” He drawled, smirking as he knew he was right. 

Barry pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. 

**~Time skip brought to you by Barry is Done™️~**

When all three men gave their statements, it was decided Len and Michael would both be locked up overnight for the whole bar fight thing. Barry didn’t say as much as he could have about his ex boyfriend. He wasn’t ready to. However he said enough to get a restraining order against the man, once he got out of prison for assaulting an officer. Plus he had enough people at the CCPD who saw him as a younger sibling that Michael did not have a pleasant time there, and more than one person calmly threatened him. 

The whole situation made the officers who were there that night look at Barry a little bit differently. Some looked worried, a few looked proud, and others looked confused. When he went into work the next morning he felt eyes on him. He happened to get to work on time for once, and it was right as Snart was being released. A few officers nodded at him in unspoken gratitude as he walked by. Him and Barry caught eyes and Snart headed straight towards him. 

“Thank you for last night, Snart.” Barry hoped he could figure out some other way to thank the man for what he’d done. 

“Len. Now excuse me, I have a partner to find. That dick interrupted date night.” Len sighed dramatically. “ _You_ however may interrupt date night _any time_ , Scarlet.” He winked at the speedster and grinned as a blush ran across Barry’s face. 

“I- What?” As Barry stumbled over his words, Len was already walking away. 

His boss found him still standing there two minutes later, face bright red and still trying to process the words spoken to him. Naturally, Captain Singh ordered him to stop standing around and get to work. Barry heard Singh muttering something about idiot CSIs and the horrible people they fall for.

**~Time skip brought to you by date night~**

Barry did end up ~~joining~~ interrupting date night. If said date night involved a museum along with a certain priceless painting and a small(ish) act of arson? Barry didn’t figure that out for about three months.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make it more angsty but it ended up leaning much more towards “Leonard kicks a bitch in the dick and Mick calls Barry Doll” but like. I’m ok with that. 
> 
> Normally I don’t condone dick shots during fights but Michael deserves it.


End file.
